Contemplation this week…
When I signed up for Yoga teaching training I never imagined I would struggle to find confidence in delivering instruction. But I felt awkward, uncomfortable and anxious. I worked hard, and delivered my sequence the best I could for my practical assessment. I felt elated and that I had turned a HUGE corner.
And then I got my feedback… A couple of points really stuck in my throat. But rather than focus on working on them I started to compare myself to other students. Even though I had passed I was judging myself against my peers. Something I have never done before. I have always been content to be who I am, even if I am working towards change.
After investing in something that had been such a challenge for me, the lack of positive feedback left me bereft. Where had my experience, their perception and my response got in such a muddle?
I then got some truly excellent advice and after a good chat with the course leader things were put into perspective.
One of my favourite lessons from yoga is to act free from attachment to the outcome. Rather than focusing on the criticism I am now focusing on the energy and intention that I put into it. I did my best. I showed up and stepped into the arena. I did battle with the things that challenged me. For that I will always be proud of
It is the will to step into the area when the outcome is uncertain which is important to me.
If I worried about what everyone might think of my ability I would never try anything. If I compared myself to everyone I would never embrace my individualism.