I Am What I Am.

aa1In my last blog post I made a passing comment about a relationship that had broken down.

This got me into a bit of trouble.

I realised that if someone wrote something about me I really didn’t want out there on the world wide web, I would want them to remove it.

So I did.  I want to make it clear why I did this though.

I stand by my passing comment.  It is my truth.  Yet it was naive to think it may not offend the other person.

I didn’t realise they read my blog.  But that didn’t make it ok to publish it.  I went for a long walk to think about it…

So, just to clarify why I wrote what I wrote, and why I subsequently removed it I will explain who I am and what I stand for.

I don’t have a perfect life.  Sometimes things don’t work out the way I want them too.  I am ok with that.  Because I work on my stuff everyday to manage stress and cope with the tough stuff when it comes along.  Because it will come along.  I want a life lived.  And that comes with ups and downs.  I don’t want the downs.  But I know if you care about things and “put yourself in the arena”, so to speak, they will inevitably happen.

I cannot pretend to have the perfect life with all the answers for my blog.  That would be dishonest.  And pointless.  There are plenty of blogs and websites out there that already do that.  I want to offer an alternative to that.  My real life. With real help and possible solutions that I have genuinely tried which might work for you too.

I share the things I do that have worked for me over the years, and continue to help make me happy and confident for the future.  When I mess up I will share that too.

Am I happy?  Yes.  I am.
Is it always easy?  No.  It is not.
But it is worth the effort to make myself feel the best I can.  It is good work.

I post regularly on the blog and my social media and sometimes I misjudge things.  I don’t have an editor or assistant.  I don’t always filter things or delay things because I like to write in the present.  I have been writing the blog for over 2 years now.  I don’t re-read or edit like I used to. Perhaps I should? I am not sure how I feel about this yet.

I like that my blog is honest.  It is my blog, my voice.  I don’t write to please others.  And I won’t edit to please others. I don’t follow most of the advice on “how to write viral blog posts” etc etc because they don’t sing to me.  I like to blog for me and people like me.  It is an honest reflection of me-blog.  Mistakes and errors in judgement an-all.

If I re-read and over edit then what makes it my blog?!  Will it reflect me?  I cock up all the time in real life.  That is why I do this work?!  That is why I have things to share?!  Not sure how I feel about this yet….

I am my own special creation….I bang my own drum, some think its noise I think its pretty…

And on the days it is not so pretty I go for a walk.

Charlotte x

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