Last week this story was in the news here in the UK.
“£3m sex discrimination case winner: ‘Everybody loses'”. Basically this lady worked for an international bank in The City, and was harassed out of her job.When she left she instructed a lawyer, who asked for “any written communication about her”, and the can of worms opened.
And now, even though it is over, and she has won, she says it was not worth it.
When asked about the cost of the case she states that –
“The word ‘hell’ is a nice way of describing it… the effect that it had on my life is absolutely terrible and it’s very difficult to feel victorious. It’s actually very, very sad. Sad for everyone, there is no victory in this.”
Her emotional and mental health have suffered as a direct result of other peoples unreasonable treatment of her. And then suffered further by the process of her clearing her name.
But if she went through all of that injustice, and won, and says it wasn’t worth it and led to more suffering….
what is the best thing to do when we face personal injustice
and unreasonable treatment?
Some situations are just so horrible, so destructive and unnecessary there could never be right way for us to respond. You only have your survival instinct. Your intuition.
Her intuition told her something was very wrong. And she was right. We must always be ready to hear our intuition.
It might lead us into war, but it will always get us to the other side. A place in line with our values. Surrounded by like minded souls. A place where we can thrive.
Whilst this lady has been through a quite extreme experience, I think most of us can relate to being in a scenario where we feel we have been unfairly treated. Pushed out. Misled.
A few years ago I left a pretty toxic work environment. I walked away. There has always been a niggle in my mind. That walking away in some way made it easy for it to be brushed under the carpet. That I was saying it was ok to treat me like that, I will go, you can stay.
And the guilt that walking away would simply mean someone else would be targeted. Oh the guilt!
Reading this woman’s story changed my way of thinking.
Its ok to simply walk away. Or fight, or negotiate, or run. Whatever your intuition tells you to do in the moment you make a decision to act. Do that!
The important thing is – don’t stay.
To carry on allowing ourselves to be treated badly is the worst outcome. That is questioning our value, accepting negative flow and allowing it to impact on our day-to-day life.
We don’t have control over other people and how they treat us. If they are determined to be unreasonable, cruel, or untruthful, we cant stop them. Perhaps they will attract like-minded souls to replace us? And they will be happier for it too?!
It might be walking away from a job, relationship, friend, or lifestyle. Sometimes, the only thing to do is to have faith it is the right decision. And to have faith that the fallout might be a period of discomfort, or even hell, but it will come to a conclusion.
And if we are leaving a situation that feels wrong, striving to find something right for us, we will find it.