Brene Brown talks about how often we wake up in the morning and tell ourselves, and others, “I haven’t had enough sleep”. And for the rest of the day, it is easy to keep piling on the scarcity. Wanting more of what we believe we don’t have ‘enough’ of (time, exercise, dinner, rest etc etc).
It feels a bit like it is culturally fashionable to be impossibly busy.
Over the last 12 months I have welcomed some really wonderful work opportunities into my life. And Henry spent half of this time really hating sleep. What this meant was…. I really was very sleep deprived at times, no amount of positive thinking or re-phrasing was going to change that. I just had to sit it out. I had to fit my admin hours and work in around a changeable routine, working all hours, whenever I could.
This became quite exhausting. I knew that long term I needed to carve out more time for myself in the day. And use that time for whatever I needed to allow myself to do my work and rest when I need to.
So, Henry discovered sleep is not so bad, and then turned 2, and can now go to nursery. He LOVES nursery. Three mornings a week I have guilt free, affordable, childcare at the end of our road. Win-win.
This was supposed to make life easier, and allow me to work more efficiently in the day.
One of the many epiphanies I had on the Relax and Resparkle retreat in Hvar was …..
I had created some much needed space in my life. And then I had filled the space with more admin heavy things to do. This isnt indulging in abundance. This would actually potentially leave me with less time than before, and more pressure in the evenings and weekends.
Also, some of the things I want to do and being offered are central to the values of my business. If I turn down community groups, charities etc then I am compromising my business values. If I wasn’t able to really prepare and deliver great content for what I am doing then the offers may stop.
And, there are a few bits that I really used to enjoy doing, that are particularly admin light, that I keep getting asked for and know I could slot in easily and would love doing.
All of a sudden I had a lot to think about. I simply cannot do it all. And I dont want to. I know that is a fast track to overwhelm and burn-out.
So. I looked at what was really important, and I have put a few things on hold. Not because I am not committed to them. But because I am committed to doing them properly when the time is right. I can come back to them.
Living in abundance isnt saying yes to everything (a big problem for excitable me), despite how much fun or helpful it sounds. It isnt doing as much as possible at all times. It is selecting what really matters, and enjoying doing that to the fullest.
That way we can feel the prosperity in our lives, the richness, the fertility, at work. This is what people mean when they talk about being ‘present’. If we are unhappy, tired and rushed it is easy to avoid being ‘present’, to live in each moment.
This is just as important for work as it is for leisure time.
This next 12 months I want to get this balance right. I want to have time and energy for Henry and his needs – for fun and play with him. And I want to have time and energy for my business and work to be fun and playful, to be abundant and joyful.
Do you have time contraints? Are you trying to live in your abundance but find yourself distract, or too busy? Do you find yourself often in burn out? Are you saying ‘yes’ to everything?
Here is my question for you. “looking at everything you want to do, and everything you have in your diary. What can you re-order, spread out, postpone to make things easier and more fun?”
With lots of love